Who wants to be a trophy wife? Not me!!!

Gone are the days when I answer "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" with "Someone's trophy wife." Many reasons come to mind: (1) It takes WAY too much effort to keep up a figure, (2) I don't consider any part of me to be a trophy....(3) BOREDOM!!!

This summer shall forevermore be titled "The Summer of Boredom". I cannot be a stay at home wife unless it were coupled with stay at home wife. I need to use my God-given gifts beyond the home. I know my calling is to work with children, and especially those with special needs. I can only image how this gift will be used in my future. Literally, as I have not seen any indication as to where I am to go beyond this particular moment in time. As of now, my prayer is for a teaching position in elementary special ed so that I might use my summers for mission trips...however, as Christ prayed "not my will but Yours (Matthew 26:39)", I hope to find my future in Him.

My heart is burdened with all that has been revealed to me in this time of "wilderness". Per Mr. Webster, one of the many definitions of wilderness is "a bewildering situation." Welcome to this past year in Nederland (and a little prior to the actual move). Many things I will keep silent for now, as Mary did when she saw her young son Jesus in the temple, and treasure them in my heart (Luke 2:51). Suffice it to say, that revelations within my wilderness - where I've been taken away from the one place I can truly call home and placed back in the surroundings which trapped me for so many years - have dissected my heart and removed those pieces which weren't part of His plan and stitched together the pieces which do belong in whatever
He has laid out for me. I can't even begin to say what that is, but He's given me glimpses into my future - I'm sure to soothe my innate curiosity and impatience.

What I can say is that my burden for my family is gone. I care about each of them deeply, but I have an amazing peace and no longer fear that I must be immediately available, perfect, wealthy, successful and silent to attain their love. Love is the first of the Fruits of the Spirit because it's basic - it exists within us. We must cultivate it and care for it if it's to grow, but it is born within us at our birth. God is love, we are created in His Image. Why it took my entire life until now to grasp that concept, God Himself only knows.

With that burden, along with the feeling that my worth as a person was based on my net worth, removed, the freedom I feel is astounding. I really am free to go where He sends me, and fulfill that which I am here for, which is.....dunno; He hasn't filled in that blank completely yet. Well, I should say, He hasn't filled it in where I can see it; it's been filled in long before I took my first breath.

My future lies before me a big blank canvas. Guess I don't have an answer to "Where do you see yourself in 1o years?" anymore...but I'm OK with that!! :)