Sunday, July 26, 2009

Baby Me!!

I'd like to introduce my weekend project. After discovering a box of photos in my grandmother's closet, I scanned and digitized each of them with the intent of making a scrapbook. Missy introduced me to http://www.scrapblog.com/ and with that, my baby photos are now in an album - so to speak.

Without further ado, I introduce...baby me :)

Who's your Pharaoh?

It's no wonder why Exodus is my favorite book. Every struggle I have somehow relates back to something Moses or Israel went through. Let's talk bondage. My concordance has two words defining the term - slavery and servitude. One, servitude, can be a choice a person makes based on a personally motivating factor - be it joy, money, or obligation. The other, slavery, has never in this world's history had a positive connotation; slavery is without choice-without freedom.

Bondage to Israel came when a new Pharaoh ruled Egypt and did not know Joseph. He feared the multitude of Israel in Goshen, and, however he did it - placing taskmasters over them, afflicting them with hard labor (Exodus 1:8-14) - Israel grew. Bondage = slavery. This was no choice servitude. I can imagine what the brick pits must have been like - the grumbling against Egypt when the taskmasters weren't listening or perhaps they cursed the Egyptians in their native Hebrew tongue. But maybe not - some, if not all, of Israel continued telling the miraculous stories, from creation through Joseph, and kept their faith. Exodus 2:23 - the Israelites cried out and God heard their cries; literally "their cry for help...rose up to God." God always keeps His promises - and so it was time to call forth Moses to His plan for Moses' life.

Servitude can have a more positive meaning -depending on how the situation comes about. After all, Christ Himself told us we are his friends if we serve Him (John 15:14). In most cases I've found, a person's entrance into servitude is by choice, at least at first, due to a certain affinity to that which he (or she) serves. Many of our Biblical forefathers were regarded as servants of the Lord: Moses (Deuteronomy 34:5), Joshua (5:14), Samuel (1 Samuel 3:10), David (2 Samuel 3:18)...the list goes on much longer than this. Also, people throughout the Bible pledged their loyalty to relatives, kings, and friends by calling themselves "your servant." By choice, servitude shows loyalty, honor, even love.

Yet what happens when servitude morphs into slavery? Matthew 6:24 & Luke 16:13 - "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God & Money." In context, this is the moral at the end of "The Parable of the Shrewd Manager." When faced with a choice between two things we "serve," we inevitably must choose one over the other - rarely can a compromise allow service to both and even more rare, and possibly non-existent - is equal devotion. Money is obviously high on the list of masters - so are fame, career, family, community, drugs, alcohol. Yet, some of these can be blessings when not placed ahead of God.

What about the moment when we are tested - asked to put God before our wealth, family, career? Failure marks slavery to something given to us as a blessing. Bondage.

Ive been there. Being asked to give up on something I thought I was entitled to because I'd worked so hard. Hardly! I'd worked myself into slavery because I feared losing that which I was at first voluntarily serving - which was a gift from God initially. I'd placed so much value in my bondage that following my true Master - my God, Father, & Creator - seemed nearly impossible.

It seems Pharaoh is not something ancient Egypt alone placed on a throne. It is a term synonymous with those thing which hold us captive today. Pharaoh was Joseph's friend, then his family's friend, and they were happy to live in his kingdom under his rule. Time passed and eventually Pharaoh became a slave master. It took God's intervention to break that bondage. And so it is with us today and whoever/whatever binds us today. Only our true Master can set us free. Serving that which God has blessed us with can lead to slavery if we focus on it rather than God. Uninhibited freedom in Christ is a gift to those who choose to leave this bondage behind.

Let me ask you all, who's your Pharaoh?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Who wants to be a trophy wife? Not me!!!

Gone are the days when I answer "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" with "Someone's trophy wife." Many reasons come to mind: (1) It takes WAY too much effort to keep up a figure, (2) I don't consider any part of me to be a trophy....(3) BOREDOM!!!

This summer shall forevermore be titled "The Summer of Boredom". I cannot be a stay at home wife unless it were coupled with stay at home wife. I need to use my God-given gifts beyond the home. I know my calling is to work with children, and especially those with special needs. I can only image how this gift will be used in my future. Literally, as I have not seen any indication as to where I am to go beyond this particular moment in time. As of now, my prayer is for a teaching position in elementary special ed so that I might use my summers for mission trips...however, as Christ prayed "not my will but Yours (Matthew 26:39)", I hope to find my future in Him.

My heart is burdened with all that has been revealed to me in this time of "wilderness". Per Mr. Webster, one of the many definitions of wilderness is "a bewildering situation." Welcome to this past year in Nederland (and a little prior to the actual move). Many things I will keep silent for now, as Mary did when she saw her young son Jesus in the temple, and treasure them in my heart (Luke 2:51). Suffice it to say, that revelations within my wilderness - where I've been taken away from the one place I can truly call home and placed back in the surroundings which trapped me for so many years - have dissected my heart and removed those pieces which weren't part of His plan and stitched together the pieces which do belong in whatever
He has laid out for me. I can't even begin to say what that is, but He's given me glimpses into my future - I'm sure to soothe my innate curiosity and impatience.

What I can say is that my burden for my family is gone. I care about each of them deeply, but I have an amazing peace and no longer fear that I must be immediately available, perfect, wealthy, successful and silent to attain their love. Love is the first of the Fruits of the Spirit because it's basic - it exists within us. We must cultivate it and care for it if it's to grow, but it is born within us at our birth. God is love, we are created in His Image. Why it took my entire life until now to grasp that concept, God Himself only knows.

With that burden, along with the feeling that my worth as a person was based on my net worth, removed, the freedom I feel is astounding. I really am free to go where He sends me, and fulfill that which I am here for, which is.....dunno; He hasn't filled in that blank completely yet. Well, I should say, He hasn't filled it in where I can see it; it's been filled in long before I took my first breath.

My future lies before me a big blank canvas. Guess I don't have an answer to "Where do you see yourself in 1o years?" anymore...but I'm OK with that!! :)

Monday, July 20, 2009

the blog is back

Ok, after reviewing the situation, I've decided to reinvent the blog - only this time I won't be posting prayer requests in the event of upseting someone. So those will have to be emailed privately to those of you who are my special prayer warriors.

Since the death of "A Bed of Heather", I've been all over Texas for weddings, job hunts, and visits with friends.

I'm still unemployed, unfortunately. I guess that prayer request I can post for the world to see :) I've applied all over the place for teaching positions and am praying that God will place me where I'm needed (though my heart is in San Antonio). I do believe that working with children (and particularly with those with special needs) IS absolutely my calling, so I know it's just all in His timing to find where I'm supposed to use that gift.

Anyway, I'll be updating everyone once again on the job search and my time here. I plan on posting my wilderness study soon once I've got it updated the way I want it :)

Ciao!